paalam, tatay herminio

i can't remember how many times i saw tatay herminio. besides that time erodes my memory, there are really just a few times i saw him. probably three or four. or lesser than that. in the four years and a half that i could have the chance of chatting with him or seeing him more, i didn't. a choice that could be a little odd to look back now.

he was the father of my ex. the one with a twin brother. the one who's married to herminia. the man with a bullet rafting through his body caused by something i forgot what.

i honestly know very little about him. until a year ago, joel broke to me the news that he had cancer. and for a while i prayed for him. i prayed for nanay herminia, too. joel's often concern even before is how one will be able to cope with grief if the other is already gone. and from that simple regard, i know that tatay herminio and nanay herminia are one of the few couples i know who shared something really special.

and now that tatay is gone, i can feel the sorrows of his family even miles away. i remember his eyes which i only stared at photographs years ago. i remember joel's story about him accompanying nanay early in the morning to sell fish in the market. i remember him as a lolo to gelo in a handful of times i went to their home. i remember very little of what he was in the past. of what he was as a father. or just about anything about him. but perhaps big enough to reminisce the past and to remember him tonight.

tatay, the pain is gone now. have a peaceful rest.

tragedy at christmas time

my friend lost her dad the other day due to stroke. she's living here with her husband and kids, and yeah, with her mother. it's painful when the one who passed away is a directly related kin and whose later life was spent away from you. had you been given a day more, you would have indeed thought of spending more time with him and knowing him more.

i just imagine, what if one day, i lose my mom or my dad, the two people who've seen me grow and have known me despite my geographical distance to them. i dreamt of this many times and the awful feeling is seriously unbearable. i couldn't bring myself into that day i would have to face that fateful event and no matter how i prepare myself for it, the pain of losing someone so dear to me is completely unthinkable.

hence, life must really be spent to its fullness because time is always a constraint that no one can go against with. and so, love more and never go easy on anything. because chances are, we will not be given another turn.